Don't Follow Her, You Might Scare Her

Thank you, Internet, for The Tao of Badass--SoSuave.com's cooler, wealthier, better looking cousin.

Boys, those days of sitting in your trench coat on the park bench ogling ladies in vain are about to come to an end. Get out your pencils and prepare to take notes as TToB brings you "Best Ways to Stop a Woman on the Street." (You can read the entire article here: More Help for the Hopeless )

Here are the highlights:

Stopping a woman on the street is a five-step process:
1. Eye contact
Nearly every book, list or website you read about how men can connect better with women will mention eye contact. And they’re right. With the pretty lady you see on the street, make eye contact as soon as possible. Keep your eyes locked, too, so she knows that it wasn’t just chance that your eyes met. Once eye contact has been made, make sure she knows you are trying to get her attention. Wave, nod – something obviously attention getting.
This one is pretty self-explanatory.  Let's move on.

2. Use your voice
If you’re on a loud street, you’ll need to speak up. Make sure the ends of your sentences aren’t getting lost in the noisy bustle around you. This is particular important if she’s a distance away and not near enough to hear you talking at a normal volume. Stay calm and keep your words simple so she can understand.
"...keep your words simple so she can understand."  Remember men, these are women we're dealing with here.  Don't use big words like "interception" and "microbrew."

3. Don’t follow
You don’t want to rush after her. This displays neediness and might scare her. Instead, hold your ground and make sure she has heard you and has seen your eye contact. Compliment her so she’ll have a reason to slow down and engage you. If you need to, try complimenting a few random people throughout the day and seeing what kinds of responses you get. Note what works best so you’ll be prepared when the woman of your dreams strides past.
"This displays neediness and might scare her."  True story.  However, if we feel that our target audience needs to be told that following a woman you've spotted on the street and stared down (see tip #1) might scare her, then it might have also been a good idea to include more specific guidelines in tip #4: Use Your Hands.

"Compliment her so she'll have a reason to slow down and engage you."  Flattery will get you everywhere, duh.

"If you need to, try complimenting a few random people throughout the day and seeing what kinds of responses you get.  Note what works best so you'll be prepared when the woman of your dreams strides past."  I'd love to see this notepad:
That shirt almost totally hides your tramp stamp.  
Wow, I had no idea your ass was that big until you stood up. 
You look just like my ex girlfriend!

4. Use your hands
Incorporating hand gestures into your conversation will not only help her follow your conversation if you’re somewhere busy, but it will also keep her attention on you. On the street, it will be easy for her to get distracted, particularly if she isn’t totally convinced that it was worth stopping to talk. Use your hands to keep her eyes focused on you. Using your hands will also display confidence. Don’t keep them in your pockets with your shoulders slouched. You know what you want and you think she’ll want it, too. Make that clear.
"You know what you want and you'll think she'll want it too. Make that clear."  It's all in the wrist.

And finally....

5. Smile 
There is nothing as welcoming and nonthreatening as a smile. You want to show her how excited you are by seeing her but also maintain a calm that assures her that you aren’t a nutcase. Just smile. Express your excitement and attraction to her with your grin. It will calm her down, welcome her to you, and engage her in conversation.
"You want to show her how excited you are by seeing her..."  without getting arrested, we mean.  So we'll have to settle for a smile.

Let's sum it all up:

The trick with stopping a busy lady on the street is accessing your confidence and then, of course, not losing it. You have to stand your ground. Don’t run after her; your eye contact and waving should be bold enough to convince her to stop. From there, you know what to do. Flirt, compliment, engage. Make her so intrigued by you that she wants to know more. Don’t get too casual too quick – remember that you just met on the street and you don’t even know if she’s single – but if her body language is saying “yes,” go ahead and ask for a chance to see her again. Stopping someone on the street who catches your eye can seem a little trashy if you don’t handle yourself correctly. The trick is getting her attention and then letting her know how honorable and honest your intentions are.
"The trick is...letting her know how honorable and honest your intentions are."  Or...not.

Seriously...who writes this stuff?  If I had to guess, I'd say this is a fine example of "Those who can't do, teach."