Don Juan: Mad Inner Game

What do you get when you combine Zen Buddhism, Steven Covey, and Don Juan?

You get Marlimus.

According to this little gem from the SoSuave.com Hall of Fame:

One cannot have game unless one has Inner Game.

Inner Game, according to Marlimus, is the key to being a true Don Juan.  A ladykilling natural.  Perhaps even an Alpha Male.  (However, Inner Game will not save you from being a crappy writer who overuses third person.)

In order to reach your Inner Game potential you must first learn to control your emotions.  If one is unsure about how one might go about gaining control over one's emotions, then one should not worry, because one can find a list of suggested techniques right here on one's computer.  Marlimus lists 4 of the obvious ways ("some involuntary, some learnt"), but then goes on to explain the REAL KEY to emotional control.  He has mind-melded with Steven Covey.

So -- here is the REAL KEY.  It's a multi-step process:
1. Understand the stimulus -- what has caused you to develop pesky emotions and see some girl as more than just another lay?

2. Analyze this cause through the lens of your value system -- particularly your Don Juan psychology that says "you're effing awesome, no matter what every woman around you says."

3. Ask yourself: "WWDJD?"  Would Don Juan approve of my emotional response toward this female?

4. Answer "No!"  and never call her again.  Pat yourself on the back for escaping that close call.

Marlimus himself describes one such close call that he was able to walk away from thanks to his proven  Inner Game.   He almost succumbed to "love" with a woman who was not only a close friend, but who was also warm, sincere, maternal, caring, and admired him openly. Oh, the horror.  Thanks to Inner Game, he was able to make that all disappear and return to being a Don Juan who has the power to choose any woman he wants.  Love is a verb, not a noun!

Marlimus, Lord of his citadel.  One can only dream of achieving this level of machismo greatness.

You Catch More Flies with Self-Deprecation

I was talking with an old friend recently about the effect social media (particularly Facebook) has had on my opinions of people I know.  Facebook can truly make or break a friendship for me.  I've met people recently that I thought I adored, only to accept a Facebook friend request and realize that we are unlikely to get along well at all.  I'm also a big fan of random friend requests from people I knew (or think I might have known) 10 years ago.  I'm certain that a large percentage of my Facebook friends are high school-era acquaintances I haven't seen in over a decade and I think that, because of Facebook, I like a lot of these people more now than I ever did back then.  

It's not because of all the photo albums, or the impressive employment history listed out in their profile, or who they're friends with, or what celebrity pages they like.  In fact, I can't say that I've ever really looked at the details on most of their profiles.  It's because of the status updates. 

Ahh, the Facebook status update.  The "Headline News" of our everyday lives that is broadcast on the news feeds of everyone we're connected to.  These simple snippets of thought almost single-handedly form my opinion of my Facebook friends.  Through their updates I start to get a feel for who they are, what they like (and don't), their sense of humor (or lack thereof), and their overall personality and attitude.  Often, this is a great thing. Sometimes...not so much.  

I've noticed that there tend to be a few repeating themes among status updates:

1. Nothing Passive About This Aggression

We all have at least one in our friend list.  This is the person who believes all interpersonal conflicts should be publicized, but is always careful to leave out *just* enough detail so that not every one of their Facebook connections knows exactly who they are referring to.  She keeps these posts visible to the offender, of course, because the 14-or-so responses she's hoping to solicit to her "Can you BELIEVE that SOMEONE had the nerve to tell me [fill in the blank]??!?" are certain to make said offender think twice about ever messing with her again.  Obviously she was right. All her friends say so. 

2. Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

This friend is single. Still. Even since yesterday night, when he posted about how much more fun this concert would have been if he could have shared it with someone special.  This morning he shared a photo from the "Lonely Hearts" fan page with a great motivational quote that had me totally convinced that he was single by choice because he simply wouldn't settle for a sub-par mate.  But alas, this afternoon he's lonely again and would like to know if anyone wants to join him for a beer. And maybe speed dating. The most painful part about these updates? The fact that there are generally zero responses. 

3. Jesus Loves Me, Yes I Know

Bible verses are ok (in moderation), but it's the "Repost this as your status if you love Jesus!" updates that get people blocked from my feed. 

4. Viva La Revolucion!

I am actually very fond of my activist friends. I enjoy reading all the differing opinions, and the passion with which each side shares their own beliefs.  I've learned a lot through updates about hot topics, especially politics, and there have been days when I've been completely out of touch with news, radio, or television and heard about a major headline via someone's status.  But alas, some might do well to realize that they probably aren't going to facilitate a major movement for their cause via a status soapbox--in fact, often times their attempt at an informative call-to-action might be more off-putting than inspirational.  

5. I'm Awesome and Now You Know It

I cleaned my ENTIRE house today, including a spit-polish of the grout around all 7 toilets right before I ran 8 miles in my awesome new workout clothes (you can see them in my album titled "Awesome Things I Bought - September 12") and didn't even mess up my hair. Now I'm homeschooling my 4 perfectly groomed children -- except that's really hard because they all already read at a college level (if you don't believe me, check out their test scores -- I posted them in the album titled "Awesome Accomplishments - September 12") and they all speak three languages.  I think pretty soon we'll head out to the playgroup I organized at my church last week to swap recipes so I can come home and cook a four course meal that I plan to post pictures of (you'll be able to find them in the album titled "Awesome Food I Cooked From Scratch - September 12") for my awesome husband when he gets home from his 7-figure income job this evening.  He loves when I do that. He loves everything I do, because he's perfect and we never fight.  And he never, EVER looks at other women.  Because I'm awesome. 

It's the last one that puzzles me the most.  I have to wonder how this person feels when they read the same type of status update from another friend.  Do they buy it? Does it make them like that friend more?  I doubt it...the underlying tones of one-upmanship in their own updates would indicate that any sort of success on the part of their friends spurs their competitive aggression.  Why, then, are they incapable of understanding the power their own humility could have in interpersonal relationships?  

I still remember one of my favorite status updates.  It was posted by someone I barely knew (one of those "I think we might have had a class together in high school" friends) who may very well have been hacked. It said (loosely quoted from memory): 

"I really love a good poop."  

I instantly liked her more than ever.  I started paying the same attention to her updates as I do to some of my favorite friends, clicking on her posted pictures, and generally just giving a f*** about what she had to say.  I didn't care if it was a hacked update or not -- she left it there. She owned it, she wasn't embarrassed, and I thought it was hilarious.  

I don't know why more people don't embrace self-deprecating humor.  There has been plenty of research into this, especially as it pertains to the forming and maintaining of relationships.  "Self-deprecating humor reduces tension and indicates a nonthreatening stance that puts others at ease." (Quote from this article)  Overall, researchers have found that it makes a person more attractive to others.  In my opinion, this goes beyond just romantic flirtations -- it makes anyone more attractive to me, in any sense.  I admire the ability to laugh at one's self.  I wish more people would stop trying to impress (or depress, or aggress...) and just take a minute to laugh. 

"Do not take life too seriously.  You will never get out of it alive."  --Elbert Hubbard

Blood is Thicker than Water

No, really. It is.

The viscosity of blood is about 3-4 cP at 37  °C .  The viscosity of water is 0.890 cP at about 25 °C.

So?

Well, this little tidbit of science was first turned to metaphor by Heinrich der Glîchezære, author of Reinhart Fuchs (circa 1180).  His intent was to illustrate his belief that familial ties were stronger than the bonds of friendship ever could be.  Obviously the masses believed there was some truth to this, as his Blut ist dicker als Wasser became a common proverb still used today.

In 1920, Aldous Huxley put a slightly different spin on this phrase in "The Ninth Philosopher's Song:"
Blood, as all men know, than water's thicker / But water's wider, thank the Lord, than blood.

That is obviously open to many different interpretations, mine being: Screw viscosity.

Jim Butcher, I believe, said it best:

“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching -- they are your family. ” 

The Bucket List

Over the last year or so I came to realize that life is finite.  "Duh," you say, I know.  I just simply never gave it much thought until recently.  I was very guilty of an "it won't happen to me" mentality, and generally sucked at planning for the future (in the extreme sense, I mean: I raised my eyebrows at friends who stockpiled three years worth of dry goods in their cellar and rolled my eyes at the stodgy 40-something men at the gun range who talked about building a bomb shelter).  

So, the idea of a "Bucket List" always seemed a bit morose to me, and I never gave it much thought (besides a fleeting thought of John Travolta whenever the phrase was mentioned).  Now I embrace it.  I want to stop saying "someday I'll ______" and be able to say "I just ________!"  I currently add to this list faster than I cross anything off of it, but that's okay.   The most important part is that I've started to approach life's opportunities with a completely different attitude -- I take the chance instead of playing it safe.  I close my eyes and jump.  I "just do it."  

Bucket List Item 42: (Note: these will be completed/attempted in no particular order)  Run a 5k.  

I am an extremely competitive person.  Ridiculously so, at times, and especially with myself.  I could kick myself now for not sticking with track (I joined once in 9th grade, and that's it), as competitive running offers the perfect mix of self-competition with competitor-competetion.  It's the best of both worlds.  Yet, stupidly, I waited until my 30s to finally capitalize on the interest I've had since my early teens.  And now I can just barely churn out a 13:00 mile.  It's pathetic, really, but it's a starting point.  I try to remind myself that this is the hardest part -- the getting back into shape -- because the pain is so severe and so fresh that it makes it that much more difficult to be motivated to go again tomorrow.  That's why I created a bit of accountability for myself...and registered for that 5k.  On 10/20...4 weeks away.  It'll be rather ridiculous, and right now my goal is to finish in under an hour.  But...again, it's a starting point.  

It's about time!

I've been saying "I think I'll start a blog!" for....10 years?

I tend to live by the motto "Never do today what can be put off until tomorrow."

I have decided this can no longer be put off until tomorrow!  Writing -- in some capacity -- has been a dream of mine since I was 5 and putting together my own self-illustrated storybooks about my teddy bear with cardboard, contact paper, and staples.  KC had lots of adventures.  And while I don't see myself revolutionizing a new fiction genre anytime soon (Vampires...taken.  BDSM...taken. GD, what's left??), at least now I have an outlet.